Trying something different

I could rant yet again about Sandy, but I'm sure you are tired of hearing me rag on the kid and have made your own opinions about my parenting abilities. But I will say this, Mike & I are trying something new. With a help of a friend (and you know who you are) we realized that we can't make Sandy do her homework or hand it in. We extended her bedtime and told her that we were no longer going to argue with her about doing her homework. She knows what needs to be done and when it needs to be turned in. We will help her if she needs it, all she has to do is ask. But beyond that, she is on her own. We are done with the fights and snotty attitudes. We have told her that she has to get passing grades in three of her four classes and that if she fails any of them she will either have to take summer school (if the school even offers those classes during the summer) or she will have to repeat her freshman year. We don't know yet if the Air Force has minimum requirements grade wise to get in or if she fails any grade how that will effect her ability to get into the Air Force If she ends up taking summer school then she will be missing out on some time with her sisters and the fun things we will do with them. She won't be entirely left out but I won't sit at home with Tara and Elisa while Sandy is in summer school. The kid has to learn the hard way on her own.

Bad day for Sandy

Sandy had herself a bad day all the way around starting with breakfast and not ending until well after dinner. I guess she got difficult with Mike this morning. We had fixed sausage scrambled eggs with hash browns. Mike asked if she wanted bread and she said no. Then I guess she changed her mind and wanted bread after all, so Mike said she could have butter bread. Then she decides that she wants peanut butter and Mike reluctantly agreed, more to shut her up then anything else. Well I guess she tried to spread it with a spoon and that just set Mike off, which in turn set Sandy off. She also was dawdling to where Mike had to boot her out the door for school. I don't know what kind of a day she had at school, but she almost got reamed by us when she was almost 15 min late getting home from school. Mike and I were certain she had taken off as she was mad at Mike when she walked out the door before school. As it turned out her bus was running late so she didn't even know that we were about to chew her a new one for making us worry. She has been know to take off, not be where she said she was going to be, stop at a friends house or stop to play with a young animal. So we are justified when she is late thinking that she is pulling something. We asked her if she had any homework and she said a little that wouldn't take her but a few minutes to do. During dinner she announced that some boy at school was going to cut her a CD. We told her we wanted to listen to it first as she admitted that she did not know what this boy was cutting for her. That started a battle in and of its self. By the time we were done with dinner it was 7:45 and her normal bedtime is 8:30. I asked her about her homework and she said all she had to do was Algebra which she needed help to do. I talked to Mike and we agreed that she wouldn't have to do her chores and could stay up until 9:00 to try to get something done on her homework. When she said she would need help from her Algebra teacher to get her homework done I told her that her bedtime was back to 8:30 and low and behold she has World Geography to do. It had just "popped" into her head as she and I were talking. Well I blew up and I told Mike that he needed to deal with her as I was not in the right frame of mind to do so. That started yet another argument that led to a lecture that went in one ear and out the other. I don't know what her problem was but she best be in a better mood when she gets home from school or we all will butt heads yet again. Both Mike and I are sick and tired of her crappy attitude.

General update

This is the latest from the Bacon household. Sandy went back to school today. Yeah! She claims to have gotten caught up from the three days she missed. We shall see soon enough. The teachers post the student's grades on-line, so we can see for ourselves. As Mike stated Sandy got caught with her Ipod. She admitted that she did think we would find out and was just being stupid. I applaud her honesty if nothing else. We haven't decided what her punishment will be yet, but it will be a good one.

Mike's back was feeling a little better so he tried to help me out by doing some of the cooking. Now his back is messed up again. We just can't seem to win with that. The only thing I can think of doing is taking over again, he relaxes and I sleep in while he gets up with Sandy in the morning. That seems to work for the most part. I almost wonder if walking on his back would do any good. Knowing my luck I would break his back and then I would feel like a shit. We need to hire a masseuse to give him back rubs and me back and hip massages. If only! It would also be nice to get a hot tub. Ah some day.

The Missouri courts have ruled that my court date will have to be rescheduled. The GAL couldn't be bothered to show up. As far as she was concerned the case should be thrown out because we didn't pay her $1000 fee. Her excuse was that she didn't want to make the trip into Fulton if she wasn't going to get paid. So now she will have to make a trip out when the judge reschedules the court date. So I still have a chance to get this thing investigated. And if I feel she isn't doing a good enough job I will request that the courts censure her and ask for a different GAL. Brian just may give in just to get me to leave him alone. Yeah, as if. But a woman can dream alittle.

Free to good home, one 15 yr old daughter

I just amazes me, and it shouldn't, just how much Sandy thinks she can get away with. The past two days we have been battling with her to brush her teeth. Last night she went to bed around 8:30 pm and went straight to bed without brushing her teeth. I went into our bathroom at the same time she did went into hers and when I came out a minute later she was already in bed. I asked her if she had brushed her teeth and she said yes. I replied with "What, in two seconds?" And she came back with yes, in one second. I told her that one second brushing is definitely not brushing one's teeth and she needed to redo this task. She came stomping out and ten seconds later closed her bedroom door. So this evening she went to bed and I suspected that yet again she had not brushed her teeth, so I went into her bathroom and looked high and low and could not find her toothbrush. I have no idea what she did with it or how long she has been without a toothbrush. We will have to soak one of our old toothbrushes in peroxide so she has a toothbrush seeing as we don't have the funds to get her a new one. And even if we did have the funds to get her a new toothbrush I wouldn't buy her one because she is still sick. I would normally wait a few more days and was sure she had thrown the cold off before I would buy her a new toothbrush. SO not only do we have to check to be sure she takes her pills morning and night I will have to stand there and make sure she washes her hands and brushes her teeth. Just what I want to do with my morning and evening, police a 15 yr old who is acting like a two year old.

Sick kid

Sandy has gotten herself a head cold and has been out of school since Wednesday. She has been coughing and sniffling and feeling sorry for herself. We have been keeping her confined to her room. She has been taking this personally, like we are punishing her or something. We keep telling her that neither one of us can afford to get sick. Me especially with my suppressed immune system. But that just garners tears of pity. We contacted her teachers and she will be getting her homework so that she doesn't get too far behind. What I am not sure about is that she was in the middle of taking the standardized tests when she got sick. So I hope that this doesn't affect her grades too badly. She will have her work cut out for her this weekend trying to get caught up in her school work. I suppose you think that I sound cold. In some respects I do. I am very angry with her right now. She has taken an Ipod that we had taken from her because her grades slipped. She has so little regard or respect for Mike & I and I just don't know what to do with her anymore. She is not being treated horribly, tho she would say otherwise, but she is not getting any "perks" that would be afforded to her if she hadn't taken the Ipod. I will be glad when she gets back to school, but her spring break will be coming up soon. That ought to be fun!

Clepto Kid

We have been having a problem lately with Sandy. She has been getting up in the middle of the night and eating any candy that we may have in the refrigerator. We had caught her stealing some Tootsie Rolls, we found the wrappers in her bedroom. We have a rule about no food in the bedrooms. She was caught red handed and had no reason why she did this. Then she got some candy from her prayer partner and I had told her that she was to ask before she ate any of it. And again she got into the candy when she was not suppose to. And now Mike and I have some chocolate chips in the refrigerator and she has been eating those also. We haven't confronted her about this yet mostly because I am not sure what her punishment will be. And if that isn't bad enough she got an Ipod for Christmas from a friend at church. I had my reservations about her having it but we told her that the charger had to stay in the living room and if her grades dropped the Ipod would be taken away, with the ability to get it back when her grades came up and if her attitude stayed good. She had it taken from her a few weeks ago due to bad grades and getting caught with candy in her room. Today I checked on the Ipod and found it gone. The charger was still there but the Ipod itself and the ear buds are missing. The only thing that could have happened to it is she has taken into her room or to school with her. We were going to confront her about it, but now we are going to wait for her to trip herself up. That Ipod won't keep a charge for very long and I have taken the charger and put it in our room. At some point she will ask where the charger is and that is when we will nail her. At that point we will either make her give it back to the friend who gave it to her with the explanation as to why she is returning it or we will give it to her sisters. It really makes me angry that we have to lock our TV, Mike has to lock his computer (which is in the living room) and any candy I don't want her to have has to be hidden in our room. It also makes us angry that she thought that we would not notice that the Ipod was missing. She keeps breaking all the rules. She has no respect for either Mike or I and our belongings. There is no reason for her to be raiding the refrigerator. She gets to eat all she wants at dinner. Mike thinks the only reason she is eating candy when she is not allowed to is because she is not allowed to. That is a blatant sign of disrespect and we are not sure what we are going to do about it.

Chili cook-off

Our church had a chili cook, proceed benefiting the youth group. Mike and I didn't make it to church today so we could attend the cook-off. No, Mike's back isn't any better, as much as he would like to think it is. This is a learning experience for the both of us. We are finding out what we will need to have prepared for when this happens again. It also made us realize that we need to have something in place in regards to Sandy if the both of us end up in the hospital at the same time. This is the wake up call we both needed.

Anyway, the chili cook-off went pretty well. Maybe 7 people made chili. One person made a chocolate chili. I know what that sounds like but it really wasn't all that bad. And after everyone had gotten their bowls of chili and hot dogs there was a dessert auction. These proceeds also go to the youth group. It was disappointing in that this turnout was smaller then last years. Last year we had a bidding war between two people for a banana pudding that went for over $125 dollars. That was fun to watch. But this year the totals didn't go above $45. Kind of a let down really. I see this youth group slowly dieing and I don't like it much. Two years ago this youth group was vibrant and outgoing. Now it's fizzled to almost nothing. I am worried that it won't be here in another two years.

How can some women be so uncaring

There was a story on tonights news about a new born infant who had been left on a park bench in 15 degree weather. It was left in a medical rehabilitation facility and two blocks from a firehouse. We have the safe baby law where new mothers can leave their babies as old as three months at a hospital or a fire station with no questions asked. The authorities figure that the little boy was left on this park bench for at least six hours. He was wrapped in a blanket and they think he is a preemie. It just amazes me to no end that these mothers just leave their babies in dumpsters, in parking garages, on park benches and in public toilets in freezing cold weather with absolutely no remorse. I could never abandon my new born period, however if I was so inclined to do so, I would leave it at a police station, hospital or some other medical facility or fire house. Some place warm or cool as the weather dictates and where I would know that it would be found. And how in the living hell can you leave an innocent baby out on a park bench in the freezing cold? This person carried this infant for 7-8 months and had to feel this little guy moving and kicking inside her. I carried my two girls for 8 to 8 1/2 months. I can say with all certainty that when I felt my girls kicking me for the first time, that is when I bonded with them. That was when my pregnancy became real for me. How could she just leave him out in the cold to die like that? This may be common practice in places like China, but I would like to believe (if only for a little while) that we in the United States are more civilized then that. If you didn't want this little baby then get an abortion in the first trimester or give it up for adoption. There are countless couples who can't have children of their own who would dearly love to have a new born to love and raise. This woman will never come forward and admit to her heartless act, but if she did I would put her in a meat locker with only a blanket for at least 6 hours, just so she knows what she put her little boy through.


And in case you were wondering, the little boy will be alright.

Cold Valentines Day

Today is Valentines Day and the temperature didn't make it above 30 degrees and that was at midnight. But with as cold as it is here it's nothing compared to the northeast. I was watching the nightly news with Tom Brockaw and they were talking about the 10-12 ft snow drifts, airports canceling flights and snow plows that couldn't keep up with the drifts. Ah yes, how well I remember those days.........................and I am damn glad I live here in Texas. I don't have to worry or deal with that kind of crap again! But I did have to applaud the florists that were bound and determined to deliver their Valentines orders. I think they should take on the motto of the mailman too. "Neither rain, nor snow or dead of night shall keep us from completing our appointed rounds". Hmmmm, lets take another look at that phrase. Dead of night. Now how in the hell did someone come up with that one? Does the mailman have to take target practice so they can make the night dead? And if they do, why? I mean it's not like they have to shoot at a tiny target miles away. Night is pretty all encompassing. Then again all you have to do is close your eyes and you have instant night. But that would make it hard to complete your appointed rounds wouldn't it? Ah well, such is the workings of a bored, tired, hurting blonde wife/mother's mind. (I know, what mind)

Anybody know of anyone who is competent at back replacement? I know of at least two people who would like to trade in their original backs for new ones. I don't have as much of a reason to complain, mine isn't as bad, but it is bothering me more lately. Wouldn't it be nice if every ten years or so we could trade in whatever is bothering us or broken down for newer parts? Can you imagine how long people would live? Would want to live? I know I wouldn't mind living a longer life if I could do it with the ones I love and pain free. Perhaps in my grand children's life time.

Much improved

Mac is doing so much better today. He finally wanted to eat his dinner last night and it was so funny. I was just going to put it in Tara's room where he had been deposited when he was being a grumpy butt. He came out of the room so I just put down the dish of food. He started snarfing his food until he saw Shadow. He looked up and started growling. He then went back to eating but he continued growling while he had a mouthful of food. I wasn't too sure at that point if he was still going to be hissing and growling at me, so I quietly said his name. He looked up at me, gave a little mew and started rubbing against my legs. I put my hand down and he rubbed his head against my hand. That was when I knew that he had returned to us. I have to say I gave a big sigh of relief. I wasn't sure for awhile just how he was going to turn out. I had horrible visions at one point of having to put him down because he was trying to bite people. What is even more interesting is that Shadow and Mac are now getting along. I have reason to hope that the two of them will become best buddies. It will be a nice change of pace where Mac would torment Shadow to distraction.

One downer is that Mike's back is no better. This doesn't happen often but when it does it's a concern. There isn't much I can do to make him feel better. It just kills me to have to see him grimacing in pain from just getting up from the couch. He feels bad that I have to take up all the chores around the house. I tell him to look at it from the point of view that at least I CAN do all the chores. There was several times where I couldn't get up out of the chair without help. Mike had to take care of me. Help me bathe, dress, cut my food for me, help me to the bathroom........basically everything, plus he worked 10-12 hours outside of the house to pay the bills. Not one complaint did he make. We would be in treap of hubble if my weakness came back and his back went out like it is now. I don't even want to consider how we would deal with that.

Poor Mac!

Poor Mac got neutered today and he is one very unhappy kitten. I can't say I blame him. I am not happy either but for a far different reason. We were suppose to drop him off between 8-9 a.m. When we got down to the reduced clinic it was total bedlam. There were two dogs already in a teeny tiny intake office. I had to fill out some paper work while Mike paid the bill. While I was doing this another two dogs came through the door. One was on a leash and one was in a wire kennel. While the staff was taking one dog back to be fixed (I assume) that dog and the dog in the kennel were trying to fight with each other. I was not happy over the fact that nowhere on the form I filled out was there a place for Mac's name. I handed the paperwork over to the gal behind the desk. Another person comes up and grabs Mac's carrier. Now by this time the potential dog fight had ended but the dog in the wire cage was still barking her fool head off. And what does this caring kennel staff do? She places Mac's carrier on top of this barking dog's wire cage!!! This poor kitten has never been exposed to a dog and all of a sudden he is exposed to barking and fighting dogs and some moron puts his only safe place on top of something he is terrified of! We got him home around 3 p.m. and he is growling at anyone who walks past. We were told when we picked him up that he may hallucinate for a few hours and that may cause him to hiss, spit, claw and bite family members and we should be sure to keep him separated from kids and other animals. What bothered me is we have had 4 other cats spayed or neutered and not once were we warned that our cats might growl or bite and none of them have ever growled or hissed at us! I know each animal reacts differently to anesthesia, but I have never worried that my kitten, who is a mommy kitten, would take a swipe at me as I walk past. I will never take an animals to the reduced clinic again!

Misc blog 2

Tomorrow is the big day. Mac will officially become an "it". He will not be a happy camper tomorrow morning when his brother and sister get fed and he doesn't. He was not allowed any food or water after 10:00 p.m. and about an hour after being fed he was sniffing around the areas where we normally have water dishes. He had this very confused look on his little face, like "where did the water go? I know it was here before". It didn't stop him from jumping on the counter to get after the tea pitcher I was bleaching. So I sprayed him in the face with the sink nozzle. He looked so bedraggled and funny. He looked like he had a mohawk in between his ears.

Yesterday Mike and I did not make it to church. Well we made it to church and sat through about thirty minutes of Sunday School. Mike messed up his back and was in more pain then usual. I didn't sleep well either, so I think we looked pretty pathetic. I talked Mike into going home before services. He felt bad and kept apologizing to me and I kept telling him that he has nothing to be sorry about. It's not like he set out to mess up his back.

Sandy got some candy from her prayer partner the other day and we told her she was not to eat any unless we gave her permission. I discovered today that she had been into it and ate one piece. Now I know that doesn't sound too bad, but considering we have been having battle after battle with her not listening to us, not doing as she was told and not following house rules, this is a big deal for me. I ate her remaining piece of candy and threw out the cheesy container they came in and I am waiting for her to discover that her candy is gone. She wants us to trust her but she continues to break the rules and ignore what she is told. At this rate she will be lucky if she gets her drivers license when she is 30.

Saturday Woman's Retreat

Our ladies at the church held a woman's retreat.............quick sound the retreat. Sorry....................well not really, but it does sound strange. A woman's retreat, what were they retreating from you might ask. And it wasn't really what I would define as a retreat in the truest sense. We were all gathered in Ramsey Parlor. My definition of a retreat is to go away for longer then a few hours. There is a place called MO Ranch that I haven't been to yet but have heard that it is quite beautiful, relaxing and spiritually renewing. That is a someday. Anyway to get back to the retreat, it was very nice. There was a speaker by the name if Dr. Carol Stalcup who came to speak to us. She has talked at MO Ranch. The message she had was very good, but went on a little too long. When you are sitting in cold metal chairs, every minute seems like hours. The food was very good even if the serving of it was a bit chaotic. There was eight tables of seven and one table of five. Each table had its own server and the server was to bring the food to each person at their table. Well there was a miscommunication. The servers thought that they had to bring each dish out one at a time. With that many ladies it would have taken hours to get everyone served. So then it was announced that each server had to go and dish up each plate and each person had to get their own plate. There was a mad dash to the hall where the food was being dished out. The servers couldn't get to the food for all the ladies standing waiting for them to dish up their food. Everyone eventually got served their lunch but the so called caterer did not know how to count and did not make enough desserts. It didn't really matter much to me as I am trying to loose weight, but some of the ladies who got served a different dessert were not too happy. The planning and execution of this retreat left a little to be desired but it was a fun time. So I was glad I went. It also gave me a chance to get away from Mike and Sandy for a few hours.

Double rant

I saw in the Dallas Morning News today that a sicko in Pittsburgh, who was angry at his almost 2 yr old daughter, hit her hard enough to knock her unconscious and left her to die outside in single digit temperatures. She was found at an abandoned playground about a 10 min walk from her home. He is charged with criminal homicide, kidnapping, false reports and simple assault. Simple assault Gracie? What pray tell is simple about ANY assault, let alone an assault against an innocent and helpless toddler. His story is that she got up before him and he could not get her to go back to sleep. So he hit her so hard that she hit her head and was knocked unconscious. Then this Daddy of the year wrapped her in a blanket and left her still breathing beside railroad tracks near a bridge. She was wearing a sweater and a diaper. The police found her footprints in the snow, so she got up and wandered around. Authorities could only guess as to how long this poor baby survived in temperatures that hovered around 2 degrees. It took two days to find her body. And if that isn't bad enough, this (I'll be nice and say jerk) was in custody for another charge of sexually abusing another child shortly before this baby died. My take on all of this is that this asshole (sorry, I can't call him anything else) confessed to hitting and abandoning this poor child in single digit temperatures. He is guilty and should be sent to prison in general population and let all the cons know what he did. It won't be long before the taxpayers will no longer be supporting this sick child abuser.

I am also ticked over all the hoopla over Anna Nichole Smith's death. She was a "star" ala by a sleazy one. But that not withstanding, why is her autopsy being moved ahead of others who died before she did? I hate that celebrities get different treatment then us "common" folk when it comes to criminal matters. Whenever celebrities get into trouble all they get is slaps on the wrist and lots of media attention. However if you or I were to do the same thing we would get thrown in jail, have to wait for a trial date to be set and do whatever time is given to us. Celebrities seem to get off with a fine and community service. Something is wrong with this whole system. What is good for one should be good for all.

Ignoring house rules

I got really angry with Sandy this evening. We have a little candle that our friend gave us for Christmas and for weeks Sandy has been wanting to light it up. I kept telling her that I didn't want it lit. I liked it the way it was. Well she took it upon herself to light it. Her reasoning was that she wanted to know what it would smell like. I told her it wouldn't smell any different then the solid candle. She deliberately disobeyed me. She told Mike that she wanted to light it for our romantic dinner she was going to fix. Which she never did as she doesn't really know how to cook and Mike told her to leave the candle alone. Sometimes I just want to shake her and ask her what she was thinking. If her CO told her not to touch something she would listen to him, but not us. We all know that we have these rules of the house just so Sandy can ignore them. I am soo tired of telling her something and having her ignore it. I told her that if she can't listen to my rules I won't take her out anywhere. I don't need a 15 yr old daughter deciding that she wants to take off on Mom at the mall just because she doesn't like Mom's rules. I won't have it and I won't take her anywhere until she can prove to me that she respects me and will listen to my rules.

I will be going to my church circle meeting. That consists of a bunch of ladies getting together, laughing, talking, praying and studying the bible. It's a lot of fun and it gets me out of the house and away from Mike for a few hours. I also have a luncheon this Saturday that I will be at all morning. We will be served Continental breakfast and a special lunch. Should prove fun.

More money coming in

Mike finished his testing today and he can now start back to work. What is nice is that he can decide when he wants to work and he doesn't have to leave the house. The downside it that it tends to mess with his puter (which causes much swearing on Mike's part) and there is no guarantee of an hourly rate. His pay is based on how long he is on the phone with a customer. He did this before, while he was applying for disability. All we had coming in was my disability and it was not enough to pay the bills and food. So this job was a supplement to my check. It got us through until he got approved for his disability. So I figure this will be a supplement also. We also talked to Sandy psychiatrist and she told us she would help us get Sandy back on her own SSI. If we can get that back then we will have more money to pay bills and put aside for the girls coming out.

I got notification from the MO courts that unless we deposit $1000 my case will be dismissed. We don't have it and Brain won't pay for it. So I will make copies of the courts order to proceed as a poor person and hope that the judge will decide to proceed with the case anyway. It is the GAL (Guardian Ad Lidem) that wants the grand and she is the one who is petitioning the court to drop the case. Which makes me mad. It sounds to me like the GAL is saying that unless you pay my fee, then your case isn't important enough to investigate. I was under the impression that the state paid for this broad's fee. But then again this is Missouri and they have not come out of the 19th century. If this gets thrown out then I guess that it is a sign from God that He wants me to wait on getting custody. That is hard for me to do knowing what he is putting Tara through and the crap he is feeding Elisa.

Super Bowl Winner!

I actually won a bet! That doesn't happen very often. Mike lost two bets. He and Sandy had a bet also. They bet TV time or computer time against being a slave for an hour or two. Sandy decided on TV time. She now has to decide on what to watch. We told her that would depend on her homework. I now have to decide on where I want to go out to eat. Such hard decisions. There is Romas, a very good Italian restaurant, Joe's Crab Shack, a seafood joint that puts on live entertainment, Stan's Steakhouse, pretty self explanatory there, Angelina's, a Mexican joint or Remington's, a very snazzy seafood restaurant that Mike & I went to a few years ago. We came in third place during a game we played at a marriage course we attended at our church. We won a buy one get one free coupon. We went on Valentine's Day three years ago. I think I am in the mood for seafood seeing as we can't afford to eat it on a regular basis. So that would be Joe's Crab Shack or Remington's. I will let you know what I decide when I decide it.

Mike made very good Nachos and we had a fire going in the fireplace while the game was on. I wasn't sure I would win, especially when the Bears made a touch down thirty seconds in the game. There were so many fumbles going on it was hard to keep track of who had the ball. Mike & I decided that we are going to do this from now on. If we have kids at home we may even have side bets going on. Should prove interesting and fun.

Bacon's Super Bowl

Mike and I have decided that this year we will make this Super Bowl more interesting. Usually we just watch it for the commercials and not really focus on the game or who will win. This year we are doing things a little different. We are going to make nachos for dinner (nice and fattening to blow the diet) and each of us are going to pick a team. The bet is this. If Mike's team wins I make him whatever dinner he wants including dessert. If my team wins, when we can afford it, Mike will take me out to a restaurant of my choice without Sandy. I have picked the Indianapolis Colts and Mike has picked the Chicago Bears. I don't normally like to do these kinds of things because I don't like having my nose rubbed in it. I guess I am a sore looser. But I don't figure Mike will do that and it may be fun to be pitted against each other for a change. In the past we have picked one team on a lark together and rooted for them. This year it will be a little different. It might prove even more interesting if Mike & Sandy were to make their own bet.